This Valentine’s Day thousands of husbands bought their wives and girlfriends diamond necklaces. Los Angeles Angels’ first baseman Kendry Morales took his wife to a meeting with super agent Scott Boras and promised that next season (after either arbitration or a massive contract extension) he will be making enough to buy her a diamond encrusted house in Orange County.

Yes, the dark side has claimed another to the ire of general managers everywhere. It seems to many that each year Boras finds another all star to sign to his agency and now Morales has been added to his stable of superstars, up-and-comers, washed out veterans, and minor league hopefuls. Once I heard about the Morales signing I began thinking: what if Boras just fielded his own team, a sort of Harlem Globetrotters of MLB baseball? Who would be on his 25-man roster?

I looked over the most accurate list I could find and this is the team I decided to put on the road, entertaining (and costing) many millions.

Manager:

David Newhan (Player-coach for the Phillies Triple-A teams, the Lehugh Valley IronPigs)

Pitching:

Starting Rotation:

RHP Jered Weaver (Los Angeles Angels, 27, $465,000)
RHP Jair Jurrjens (Atlanta Braves, 24, $450,000)
RHP Derek Lowe (Atlanta Braves, 36, $15 million)
RHP Kevin Millwood (Baltimore Orioles, 35, $12.9 million)
RHP Edwin Jackson (Arizona Diamondbacks, 26, $2.2 million)

Bullpen:

Middle Relief:

RHP Micah Owings (Cincinnati Reds, 27, $420,000)
LHP Bobby Seay (Detroit Tigers, 31, $1.3 million)
LHP Ron Villone (Free Agent, 40, $500,000)
RHP Zach Miner (Detroit Tigers, 27, $437,500)
RHP Ryan Madson (Philidelphia Phillies, 29, $2.3 million)

Closer:

LHP Mike Gonzalez (Baltimore Orioles, 31, $3.5 million)

Thoughts: The first impressions are not good. There is not a southpaw in sight in the starting rotation because and the bullpen is a mess without a true closer.

Taken individually the starters are not bad at all, the issue is that without a left hander in the mix all a team has to do is load up on players that bat on the left side of the plate to do some major damage.

The bullpen lacks any signs of decent middle relief. There is not a player in this stable that posted an ERA less 4.00 and the closer is only listed as such because he has been penciled in as such for the Orioles. Gonzalez has one season under his belt as full time closer and that season came three years ago before middle relief with occasional spot duty at the end of games became his accepted role.

For this team to do anything but finish in last place it sure better have some hitting.

Infield:

Catchers: (S) Matt Weiters (Baltimore Orioles, 23, $400,000)
First Base: (S) Mark Teixeira (New York Yankees, 29, $20.7 million)
Second Base: (R) Willie Bloomquist (Kansas City Royals, 32, $1.4 million)
Third Base: (R) Adrian Beltre (Boston Red Sox, 30, $13.4 million)
Shortstop: (L) Stephen Drew (Arizona Diamondbacks, 26, $1.5 million)

Bench:

C: (R) Ivan Rodriguez (Washington Nationals, 38, $1.5 million)
1B/DH: (L) Prince Fielder (Milwaukee Brewers, 25, $7 million)
3B: (R) Joe Crede (Free Agent, 32, $2.5 million)
UT: (L) Alex Cora (New York Mets, 34, $2 million)

Outfield:

Left Field: (R) Manny Ramirez (Los Angeles Dodgers, 37, $23.9 million)
Centerfield: (L) Jacoby Ellsbury (Boston Red Sox, 26, $450,000)
Right Field: (S) Carlos Beltran (New York Mets, 32, $19.2 million)

Bench:

(R) Matt Holliday (St. Louis Cardinals, 30, N/A)
(L) Chris Coghlan (Florida Marlins, 24, N/A)

Thoughts: This team needs hitting to counteract the ominous look of the pitching. Of course this is a Scott Boras team, so if they could somehow start four first baseman they would be in great shape; however, that is not the case, but the team still has some more than decent fire power.

First baseman Mark Teixeira, left fielder Manny Rameriz, right fielder Carlos Beltran, and center fielder Jacoby Ellsbury are offensive studs. If the team has a DH then the Boras All Stars get to choose between Prince Fielder, Matt Holliday, and Chris Coghlan, not bad at all.

There is even a possibility that Adrian Beltre could return to his form from two years ago and add 20-plus homeruns to this lineup. I would put Alex Rodriguez at third base but I am not surehow civil the relationship is between the agent and the superstar (remember, ARod negotiated his own massive contract with the Yankees). The issues for this team are quite similar to issues for other teams, the middle of the infield and catcher may be good defensively, but they offer nothing at the plate.

Let’s put it this way, the starting second baseman is a utility player in Kansas City, which is a nice way of saying he could not even start for the Royals. The shortstop is the Drew offspring that was never supposed to amount to much (J.D. is J.D. and Tim was a top pitching prospect). The catching situation is not much better with a career backup calling signals.

Final Analysis: The Scott Boras All Stars would not be much of a traveling road show. They may have plenty of fire power but have major weaknesses throughout the pitching staff. This would be a team that would most likely finish near .500 if they were lucky over a full MLB baseball schedule, which is not good for a team with the fourth highest payroll in the league ($134,625,500).