Daniel Radcliffe is so far out of the pop culture loop he admits the first time he heard a Justin Bieber song, he thought the singer was a girl. I know the poor lad is going through puberty while concurrently trying to be an edgy blond-haired blue-eyed soul artist from Canada, but hold on a second and let this sink in. Now to continue…

Wow, any day I am waiting for Bieber to tweet a retort (Mr. Radcliffe, to tweet is a verb meaning to write something on Twitter, a social networking site that is part of the sad world of popular culture). I apologize to take you away from the set of the latest Shakespearean film adaptation, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and force you to be immersed in a silly childish world.

Wait a minute. You play a student going to wizard school where they have special candies that taste like anything you want. I believe Bieber needs just mention the role you have played for a living the past decade to win this battle. My goodness, your very fortune is based on the premise of pop culture.

I am not going to say you must go out of your way to know every detail about the sometimes sordid pop-verse. I am simply saying what you said sounded highly unlikely, especially after your praise for Lady Gaga in the same interview.

I know you are trying to convince the world you are more than an awkward English actor struggling to find his way in a post-J.K. Rowling world. You have starred on Broadway in Equus, displaying your junk to the world, and plan to portray an ill-fated German World War I soldier in the film adaptation of All Quiet on the Western Front.

I do not see you distancing yourself from this role, ever. I think the best you can do, instead of fading away slowly into the ether of popularity dark matter, soon to only be remembered around Christmas time during the Harry Potter marathons on the ABC Family, is to pull an Amanda Bynes and retire in your 20s. That and purchase yourself a Justin Bieber ticket and take in the awe for perhaps the last time.